Bob Hope slept with more women than any 3 rock stars.
and he stayed married for about 70 years.

and probably countless professional athletes have had some reliable hookups in different cities.
it doesn't mean it is right, or should continue.
but it doesn't have to automatically end in divorce.

I mean, let's be honest here – I'm a married middle class guy living in a middle class neighborhood in a non-descript job. I don't have extras from Nip/Tuck making themselves obviously sexually available to me. Hell, not even the cute undergrad girls we usually have interning at the office send up any flags.

Of course, people are individuals, and individuals often deviate from “average”. So it's no surprise that there are rich and powerful men who are committed family men, and deadbeats who cheat like crazy.

As for the question of why we don't see the same pattern of behavior as frequently in women… I think a large part of it goes back to the differences in the patterns that matter to men and women on a biological level when selecting mates. As a gross generalization, there's more incentive biologically for women to be monogamous than men, largely because the biological investment required by women to pass on their genetic code is much much larger than that for men. A woman is unable to reproduce for a long time after conceiving, so it pays to be selective (even if it's not a part of the conscious thought process), while that is not at all the case for men. Again, obviously people are individuals, and there are situations where having multiple sexual partners is biologically advantageous to women… usually when the 2nd partner is a “better provider” than the 1st.

This is always a touchy topic, because it's difficult to talk about biological influences on sexual behavior without people interpreting your statements to be sexist (“women are all gold-diggers who only select mates based on their ability to 'provide' and 'protect'? How dare you!”), despite the fact that what those arguments imply about the “average” male isn't particularly flattering either (we prefer young curvy women because they will be more fertile, and tend to be philandering in order to maximize the distribution of genetic code).

Just my take on it.

I confess that I know nothing about Steadman other than that he's been Oprah's gentleman for some 18 years. What does he do? Why do you think they haven't married?

My bet is that Oprah is one smart woman.

As far as the success of their long-term relationship, what do we know about it other than the fact that they have both managed to keep their personal lives under the radar?

B'shalom,

Jeff

ps – i was married for my dashing looks and charming smile…not to mention my razor wit and humble nature.

When I use the word successful, I mean top 5 percent in the world successful, I mean Olympic medalist successful, I mean the kind of success where if someone mentions your area of expertise, your name is going to come up.

I mean that level of success where you have access to the power the command the response you desire.

Compared to my own abysmal performance on the golf course, anyone on the PGA tour is a successful golfer. Compared to Tiger Woods, those other golfers aren't. That's the difference we're talking about when we look at people like Oprah Winfrey. Have you ever considered why it is that she and Steadman have never married? She is both successful and powerful in every sense of the words that matters.

B'shalom,

Jeff