What happens when you don’t have an agenda with which to fight the godless communists who have taken over our country?

Apparently you ask the Internet for one.

What happens when you ask the Internet for one?

The Internet pwns you, that’s what. Oh and we all get a side of LOL fantastitude.

Enter one America Speaking Out. Here is what John Boehner thought would happen:

“I would expect the ideas that come out of this Web site and the involvement of our members will lead to ideas that we can attempt to implement today,” House Minority Leader John Boehner (Ohio) proclaimed. “We want to continue to offer better solutions to address the problems that America is facing, and we see this as a giant step forward, directly engaging the American people in the development of those solutions.”

What actually happened was…well…um. Not that. Go ahead. Peruse the site. You will LOL for hours. I am only sorry that I got hooked near midnight here. Apologies in advance if you read this before going to bed. It will keep you up late laughing. Some of my favorites:

Under “National Security”:

Belgium looked at us funny. Let’s bomb them.

Build the Star Wars missile defense system. Who cares if it works or not? It sounds super badass.

Under “Fiscal Accountability”:

???????? White men! White women! The swastika is calling you. The sacred and ancient symbol of your race, since the beginning of time. The Jew is using The Black as muscle against you. And you are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, Whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us. The members of the American Socialist White People’s Party. An organization of decent, law abiding white folk. Just like you! ???????? (Link)

Stop wasting federal money on websites designed to make Americans feel like Republicans are actually listening to them.

While I was browsing I got this message:

Um…no. There are two distinct possibilities for why I got this message. A) Too many people are busy LOLing at the GOP or B) Too many people are trying to come up with other ideas of how to punk the site.

Did I mention they built the site with lunar software? Yes. Yes they did:

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), who created the program, said that to get software for the site, “I personally traveled to Washington state and discovered a Microsoft program that helped NASA map the moon.”

Free market of ideas ahoy! Site will die in T minus 3…2…

Evangelize!
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  • http://www.plunderbund.com Eric

    WARNING! This is a rabbit hole. You will not be coming back for a while after clicking this link! Make tea.

  • adrienne

    How dreadful is this? Wow, so totally rotten!

  • adrienne

    How dreadful is this? Wow, so totally rotten!

  • mvirenicus

    No, thanks. Based on a gleaning from public opinion polling on a variety of topics I already know that approximately 28% of the u.s. population is irretrievably batshit insane, as opposed to the remaining 72% who are simply morally and intellectually bankrupt.

  • http://www.plunderbund.com Eric

    OK. Your loss. Funniest thing I've seen all week hands down.

  • http://plunderbund.com Joseph

    “Women who get abortions should be publicly hanged. Even women who were r^ped. Abortion is murd#r. Or maybe lethal injection, to be more humane. But it should still be public.”

  • http://plunderbund.com Joseph

    “FORCE OBAMA TO SHOW US HIS LONG FORM BIRTH CERTIFIGATE” under the category “illegal-kenyan-communist”

    Also…

    “SEND ALL MEXICANS AND BLACKS BACK TO WHERE THEY BELONG.”

  • http://plunderbund.com Joseph

    “We need more forced castration! Why force people to spend dozens of years in jail for rape and battery when you could just cut their privates off? THINK OF THE SAVINGS!!”

  • http://plunderbund.com Joseph

    Rabbit hole indeed…

    I can't pay attention to my meeting because I'm reading hilarity like this:

    “we should make english the official language of the US and stop spending tax dollars on translations for mexicans! if english is good enough for baby jesus, its good enough for americans”

  • http://www.whatsinthebag.us steveg

    Man, I got out just in time.

  • http://www.whatsinthebag.us steveg

    Man, I got out just in time.

  • http://www.plunderbund.com Eric

    let me guess the author of that one. mnaugle420?

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