Like Mack the Knife, Dick Cheney is back in town. He and his daughter Liz have announced a new non-profit group called Alliance for a Strong America to shame Barack Obama’s presidency. And if your thing is the Theater of the Absurd then you have to believe that every rich Obama hater in the land with some loose change will drop a few coins in his cup.
And if anything is deserving of a Saturday Night Live schtick, you could spread the rumor that Cheney, so full of sound and fury, is again stirring up media coverage because he’s actually running for president to restore our unique position as the global sheriff. Sounds silly, I know. But with the former veep who always operates beyond the limits of reality, silliness has no meaning. We can even envision a scenario in which he attaches Liz to his ticket as his running-daughter. It would dispel the notion among anyone who shudders at his name that he is a cold-blooded lunatic. Instead, he would come across as a tender loving family guy who merely wants to see his daughter get ahead.
Karl Rove would immediately predict a landslide victory for Cheney. And Donald Trump would be thrilled that we finally had a white guy in the Oval Office who was born in America.
And in swing-state Ohio. the projected turnout for our new hero on Election Day would be so large in even the smallest counties that Secretary of State Jon Husted would alert all of the local election boards to remain open around the clock by Labor Day for early voting.
If I all of this sounds too crazy for words, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Did I mention that a lunatic is on the loose again?